Everyone has their own memories of 9/11, where they were when they heard about it, how they reacted, if they knew someone in the towers or the Pentagon, and worse if they themselves were there. For me, I've always harbored some sort of survivors guilt, I wasn't anywhere near the places effected, I didn't personally know anyone that was lost or injured, yet I feel guilt for not being effected more. Don't get me wrong, I was emotionally changed on that day as most people in our country were. I've been to New York City a hundred times and had always felt safe there, and that was not going to be the case anymore. I'd flown the American Airlines Boston to Los Angeles flight several times before (the same as the first flight to hit the towers) and never thought it could be hijacked and used as a weapon. It opened my eyes to a world of evil I hadn't know existed.
I was 25 years old, married for 2 years and almost 9 months pregnant with my first child. I was living in Plymouth, MA and was in the shower when I heard the loudest, most startling sound and my entire house shook, I later found out it was the jets that were scrambled out of Otis Airforce Base on Cape Cod, they flew supersonic to intercept the hijacked planes (they flew right over my house). As soon as I got out of the shower Steve called to tell me a plane had hit the world trade center, and like everyone else I turned on the television and saw the second plane hit the south tower live on TV and that's the moment the world changed forever. Every moment of that day is ingrained in my mind, every image, every report, every face of those frightened people they showed on the tv screen. The stories of the people who survived, hearing the phone calls of those who where stuck in the buildings or on the airplanes, absolutely heart wrenching. I will never know what it was like to be involved in everything that day, or what it was like to loose someone that day, I guess that's where my own personal guilt comes in, although my life was changed that day, it wasn't changed even a tiny bit as much as others who were directly involved.
It took me a year before I was comfortable enough to go back to NYC, we took Juliana right after her first birthday. We stayed away from lower Manhattan that trip, but have been there several times since. It is always such an erie feeling for me, knowing what happened that day and how many lives were lost.
I took this picture in 2008, when the they first started building the new World Trade Center, Tower 1:
I was 25 years old, married for 2 years and almost 9 months pregnant with my first child. I was living in Plymouth, MA and was in the shower when I heard the loudest, most startling sound and my entire house shook, I later found out it was the jets that were scrambled out of Otis Airforce Base on Cape Cod, they flew supersonic to intercept the hijacked planes (they flew right over my house). As soon as I got out of the shower Steve called to tell me a plane had hit the world trade center, and like everyone else I turned on the television and saw the second plane hit the south tower live on TV and that's the moment the world changed forever. Every moment of that day is ingrained in my mind, every image, every report, every face of those frightened people they showed on the tv screen. The stories of the people who survived, hearing the phone calls of those who where stuck in the buildings or on the airplanes, absolutely heart wrenching. I will never know what it was like to be involved in everything that day, or what it was like to loose someone that day, I guess that's where my own personal guilt comes in, although my life was changed that day, it wasn't changed even a tiny bit as much as others who were directly involved.
It took me a year before I was comfortable enough to go back to NYC, we took Juliana right after her first birthday. We stayed away from lower Manhattan that trip, but have been there several times since. It is always such an erie feeling for me, knowing what happened that day and how many lives were lost.
I took this picture in 2008, when the they first started building the new World Trade Center, Tower 1:
And this was taken from the Empire State building a few weeks ago, you can see the tower making it's way up the skyline:
We visited the Pentagon a couple of months ago, and found the memorial so very touching.
As I sit here with Juliana who is now almost 10 years old I feel like I am watching it all over again through her eyes. She's keeps asking why anyone would do such a thing, and why would someone kill themselves to kill others. My one and only answer can only be, I don't know, I don't know why there is such evil in this world.
Thanks. I live in Md and did go to NYC a year and a half ago and saw the work thus far on the memorial. Your post reminded me that, so close to DC I need to visit the Pentagon memorial.
ReplyDeleteI wrote about my experience as a teacher of third graders on that day on my blog.
http://drawingthelinesomewhere.com/remembering-911/