Overprotective or just taking care of my own….

I've been told before that I am overprotective.  I've never taken that as an insult and it's usually been told to me by someone who has a very opposite parenting style then my own.  Since the day my first child was born and we brought her home front the hospital I've felt this overwhelming sense of responsibility.  Not just for my children's safety and overall well being, but also that they are my responsibility and not anyone else's (other then my husband's of course).  When I was ready to send them out to play in the neighborhood I waited until I knew they were old enough to not only know when to not run out into the street, but also how to act when playing in someone else's yard.  I'm not saying they were perfect angels every time I sent them outside, but they were at an age when they knew right from wrong and didn't require much correction.

Then there is of course the safety issues.  I don't wrap my kids in bubble wrap and not allow them to do anything that doesn't involve a soft surface, but I do adhere to basic common sense safety (which has also had others call me the over protective one).  You know the basics, a helmet "every time" you are on anything with wheels (you only have one brain and they bruise easy).  Staying in a car seat until you tall enough to not be in one, and then a booster until again your the correct size (both my kids started middle school in booster seats).  No sitting in the front seat of the car until your the correct age and weight (my son is small and the poor kid probably won't hit the proper weight until high school).  Then there are the really, really basic safety issues.  Don't touch a hot stove, don't go anywhere with a stranger, don't play in traffic, don't wear stripes and a print to school (okay, just kidding on the last one).  In my mind there are the basics that we can teach our kids and the just beyond basics (don't open the door when your home alone, always stay in groups, wear a helmet (that one gets mentioned a lot) that we can enforce on our kids, and that's pretty much how I live.  I don't see myself as overprotective, just as protective.

Few things make me cringe and want to throat punch people more then hearing the, "when I was a kid we used to ride in cars without a seatbelt with our heads out the windows while my Dad drank a beer.... and I'm fine" stories.  Of course your fine!  Your drunk driving Dad obviously never gotten into a car accident, because guaranteed if he did your story would of ended much different (or completely ended there).   Everyone can go around spouting these stories of the dangerous things they did as a kid that didn't hurt them and think that means it wasn't dangerous, when in reality they just got lucky!  Seatbelts were put in cars for a reason, helmets were made for a reason,  we don't give lollipops to babies for a reason.  The reason is that enough kids/babies/people were injured or killed from certain things and now we know how to protect ourselves (and our children) from hopefully having something terrible happen to them.  I will continue to protect my kids from what I can the best way I know how, but being smart and taking precautions when available.  I will not force them to live in a bubble and I will be sure they are out exploring the world and all it has to offer.  I cannot protect them from every bad thing that can happen to them, but I can make sure they are buckled properly, wearing helmets, and following basic life safety guidelines.

Never stop exploring.... why we travel as a family!

When I was a kid my family didn't travel at all, and when I say we didn't travel at all, I mean we went on zero vacations.  Not only did we go on zero vacations we never even stayed in a hotel once, not one night!  I knew when I grew up I wanted to travel.  I knew when I had kids I wanted them to see as much of the world as we could show them.  When my husband and I met we started going on trips almost immediately (our first was a trip to Florida 3 months after meeting).  We traveled as much as we could before having kids (we started having kids at 25 so we didn't get to travel as much as someone that waited longer to have kids).  We went to the west coast several times, traveled many destinations on the east coast, two cruises (got engaged on the first), and our favorite trip was Paris, France.  Once our first child was born we were determined to continue to travel.  We knew it would be more difficult with a baby, but we wanted her to see the world and get the travel bug from an early age.  Our son was born two years later and he too has been bitten by the travel bug.

Both are kids are great travelers and pretty much always have been.  It hasn't always been super easy, there were hours spent walking a toddler up and down the aisle on a plane while flying cross country, there were years spent with a child who got car sick and threw up on every road trip longer then 20 minutes, there was a cruise with two toddlers that got stuck in a country longer then it should of resulting in missed flights and super cranky kids.  But there were also huge smiles when my kids had their toes in the hot sand of the Caribbean in February.  There were smiles so big you'd think their faces would split when they saw their favorite Disney characters in a Disney parade.  There were days spent exploring new cities, new parks, new countries.  There were late nights spent in hotel pools swimming under the stars.  The list goes on and on.  Of course my kids don't remember the trips they took as babies and toddlers, but I do.  And we always took pictures and videos and they now get to watch themselves discover and explore all the places they saw.

As they have gotten older we let them help decide where we will go on our next adventures.  My daughter really wanted to go to Quebec, Canada this summer, a place we probably wouldn't of gone, but we all loved it.

I was recently listening to a radio interview with a singer who has children, he was saying how grateful he is to be able to bring his children to so many amazing places (having grown up poor himself).  Then he mentioned that travel opens up your mind, and that just hit the nail on the head for me.  You can definitely see a difference in people that have pretty much stayed in the same place their  entire lives, and those that have gotten out there and seen different places, eaten different foods, were able to see how other people lived, experienced different cultures.  Through travel you have such a broad understanding of the diversity of people and culture and I think it leaves you more open minded.

Of course the main reason to travel is it is fun!  Whether it's relaxing on a beach, spending the day in an overpriced theme park, visiting a national park, going to a different country, or trying something new that you could never do at home, it all comes down to fun for me!  

We are in the process of planning our summer travel now.  Not quite sure where it will take us, but I am sure that wherever it is (near or far), it will definitely be an adventure!  Where are you planning on traveling next?

I used to have to walk to school in three feet of snow… uphill!

I remember being a kid and listening to all the "old" people talk about how horrible they had it and how easy we have it.  There were always stories about how they had to walk to school, in the snow, up hill, without boots, while wresting a bear.  Okay, so maybe there was never really a bear, but the stories always seemed to get bigger and bigger and their hardships worse and worse.

Fast forward to 2015 and things haven't changed much as far as the older (I think that means me) generation telling the younger generation that they are all a bunch of whimps!  If I have to hear one more, when I was a kid we used to lay in the back of a station wagon unbuckled and nothing ever happened to me, I may have to throat punch someone.  That statement drives me crazy, yet every time someone talks about the importance of carseats, and how long kids should be in them, and the importance of keeping your kids in the backseat as long as possible, there is always some idiot spouting on about how they used to hang out the window of their parents Ford Pinto and nothing ever happened to them.  I of course always bite my tongue since there is no getting through to an idiot and I know I'd just be wasting my precious time on this earth to point out the obvious…  they never got into an accident obviously while riding shotgun on the highway with no seatbelt, because if they had, I can promise I wouldn't be listening to them ramble on about how "soft" kids are today because they would most likely be dead!  These people never think of the fact that so many other kids didn't get so "lucky" and thats why there are seatbelt laws and super safe carseats, I'm telling you, it's infuriating!

Unfortunately it's doesn't stop with just carseats.  Every time school is canceled due to snow or the few times it's been due to heat, just pop onto any social media site and you'll see all the self absorbed a-holes once again spouting on about how they used to go to school during blizzards and how they NEVER got out of school for heat.  For one I think people have long term memory loss or they have just been hanging out with the people that thought they went to school while wrestling a bear.  I started kindergarten in 1981 (back in the olden' days if you ask my kids), and school got canceled a lot due to snow.  I can remember several times they didn't cancel it in the morning and had us get out mid-day (early) during a raging snowstorm and it was dangerous.  I was even involved in a pretty bad bus accident due to the snow/ice.  

I wish these people would realize that perhaps some of us learned from mistakes that were made in the past, mistakes that caused injuries and undue hardships and that there is no reason to make those same mistakes with our own kids.  It's not about making kids "tough" or "soft" it's about realizing that certain things sucked for us and maybe we can make it a little bit better for our kids, isn't that what part of parenting is about, giving your kids a better life then you had.  I'm not talking about giving them everything they want, I am just talking about realizing things that hurt or could of hurt us as children and making it better for our own.  And if your one of those people that thinks we making things too easy on our kids then you either had nothing ever bad happen to you or you had a lot bad happen to you and for some reason think your kids need bad things to happen to them to be a strong person, which I don't think is true.

My favorite day.

Do you ever get that feeling that everyone around you is moving in a certain direction and you are just standing still?  I feel that way every year January - April, it never fails.  I know it's the weather that gets me down, it's so hard to stay in a positive mood for me when I am cold ALL. THE. TIME!  It's hard for me to stay positive when I look outside on the first day of spring and see more snow falling (seriously this has been the coldest and snowiest winter on record)!!!  I am generally a positive person, I am an optimistic person, I am the person that can  always find the silver lining in almost everything.  Unfortunately when I am cold and blah from the long winter days and nights, it's sometimes hard to see that silver lining.  It's sometimes hard to stay upbeat and enjoy everyday (a motto I so love).  I know winter is temporary, I know these feelings are temporary, and I know my most favorite day of the year is right around the corner…  The day when you walk outside and you can smell spring, the day when you can finally open the windows in the house and not be cold, the day when the trees have buds on them and flowers are popping out of the ground, the day when I will smile and be happy and truly enjoy, because I know I made it through another wretched winter, and brighter days are here to stay.

Dreaming of blue skies and green grass.

Florida.... flying vs. driving.

We just returned from a trip to Florida for our kids spring break from school a couple of weeks ago and now that I have finally unpacked the suitcases (two weeks to unpack is okay, right), I took some time to go over the credit card bills and our spending to see if spending four days in the car vs. flying (a short 2.5 hour flight each way) was really a financial savings and I was shocked that we didn't save much money at all.   Not to mention the time we spent driving was wasted time we could of spent on vacation or doing anything else other then sitting and staring out a window.

We visited Steve's Dad in Naples and tickets usually cost us around $1,000 - $1,400 for four tickets roundtrip from JFK.  Plus we would have to figure in a car rental which I usually get a good deal on priceline.com or hotwire.com for about $200 - $300/week, plus parking at the airport which is about $100/week. With that said the low cost of all that would be $1,300 and the high cost would be $1,800.  After adding up our expenses for gas, tolls, hotels, and food for our 4 days of driving we spent $1,150.

Therefore our savings for driving vs. flying were between $150 - $650 for the week.  The drive itself really wasn't that bad, the kids were great and we made it there and back safely, however, for the cost difference I just don't think it was worth the time we gave up and don't see us doing it again anytime soon.  I would much rather spend those four days sitting on a beach then in my car.  I am not really sure what the savings would have to be for me to justify the drive again, perhaps if we had a couple of weeks to spend in Florida it would of made the drive not seem as though it took up so much of our vacation, but next time I'll see you 30,000 feet up!

We did however have a great trip.  We visited Naples and spent a lot of time just relaxing.  Tyler thoroughly enjoyed the hot tub and Juliana loved all of the extended family time.  We went to the beach, the pool, and the best day was our trip to the Everglades.  We took an airboat tour of the Everglades and everyone had a blast.  Juliana said it was one of the most fun things she has ever done.

Steve's family and I:

 The kids and Papa:

 Speedys Airboat Tours:

 Handstands in the park:

 Florida Gator (eek):

 Ty with neighbor dog Sophie:

 Juliana and Sophie:

 Day at the beach:

 Thumbs up for the airboats:

 Handstands at Papas:

After Naples we stopped in Orlando on our way home for a couple of nights.  We decided to spend the day at Disney's Animal Kingdom.  We've been to all the other parks many times and had never visited Animal Kingdom.  It was a smaller park and didn't necessarily have the "Disney" feel the others had.  We did have an enjoyable day, although I don't think we will be in a hurry to return to this park.  The safari was really great and we got to see some really cool animals.

Overall it was a great trip, I just don't think we will be driving again anytime soon...

Two rules for marriage and hopefully 50 more years to use them.

I am not by any means saying I am a marriage expert.  I have learned a lot over the past almost 15 years of marriage, and if all goes well I am hoping to learn a lot more over the next 50.  Steve and I have always used two rules that have been quite helpful over the years.  I am sure everyone has their own ways of doing things and rules, but these have worked very well for us so far...


1.  The Diametrically Opposed Rule!  We started using this when we were dating and it seems to have worked well for us.  I think in a marriage it's important to let each other have their own lives, make their own mistakes, and basically do what they each want.  However, it's also important to compromise, to think of the other person before acting on something, and to sometimes make decisions together.  The only way we could think of to blend the ability to do what you want while also making compromises was to institute the diametrically opposed rule.  Basically if a spouse wants to do something and the other is absolutely 100% against it (diametrically opposed) then it cannot be done.  This has worked fabulous in our marriage and really it's only something we have used a handful of times.  If it was used all of the time it would never work out, it's saved for only the things that we feel so strongly about we wouldn't be able to sleep if it wasn't invoked.

2.  Rock, Paper, Scissors!  You know that game where you throw out a certain hand gesture (rock, paper, or scissors) and there is a winner.  We use it all the time when making decisions on who has to do what.  Most often it's used for things like, we are sitting comfortably watching a movie and the dog has to be let out, or a kid needs a glass of water.  It saves a lot of arguments and resentment.  We don't keep track of who does more in these situations, because the rock, paper, scissors game is in control.  Steve did try to cheat by studying the psychology of the game online, but it didn't help him one bit.

Christmas 2013... The good, the bad... and the early!

As I do every year, I promised myself I would get Christmas shopping done early (I bought my first two gifts in October, I was so proud of myself), unfortunately once again I failed.  Other then the first two gifts I bought in October, nothing else was purchased until after Thanksgiving, and even saying that is a stretch.  I really didn't plan ahead at all! I didn't know what I was buying anyone, how I was decorating, or what I was cooking for Christmas dinner.  I actually wasn't that far behind at first.  I had done some shopping, ordered some gifts online, and had gotten the Christmas tree up and then it happened, I GOT SICK!  It started as a cold and then it just kicked my butt.  I ended up with a horrible sinus infection and my asthma was flaring up, basically getting off the couch was a chore for the 1.5 weeks leading up to Christmas.  Thankfully I was able to pull up my big girl pants (aka Mom jeans) and with the help of my best friend Amazon, I was able to get "most" of my shopping done.  And also thanks to antibiotics I had a day or two where I could stand up in the morning without my head feeling like a bowling ball and was able to wrap my gifts (even though most of them lacked bows and looked like my dog had wrapped them while blindfolded), I got it done.  And finally thankfully my husband agreed to go to the store two days before Christmas and purchase everything I needed for the Christmas dinner I would be preparing for 15 people on Christmas day.  So even though I was sick and behind, and kicking myself for not getting everything done sooner (lesson learned), I am happy to say we all had a wonderful Christmas... even with my kids getting up at the ass crack of dawn!  Next year I will definitely going to start early (hahahaha).

The elusive New Year's Revolution....

It's that time a year again, the start of a new year, the time for everyone to sit down and think about what they want out of life for the new year.  I personally am not even sure I think making resolutions is a good idea, and every year I say the same two things, I am going to diet/exercise more and organize my house, and every year I am a little disappointed (although not surprised) I barely met my resolutions.  This year I thought I would mix things up and actually write them down (if it doesn't help I give up).

So without further ado, here are my 2014 New Year's Resolutions (can you handle the excitement)!

1.  I will blog more, this seems like a good place to start since I am writing this on my blog.  I have so many thoughts and ideas running through my head, it's time I started sharing more.

2.  I will wear yoga pants more.  Okay this may not be a true New Year's resolution, but it's F#@&ing freezing outside and I am wearing yoga pants right now and I am comfortable and happy!  I think for that reason alone yoga pants should be worn more often.

3.  To take better care of myself.  This is a big one and one that everyone should follow (I'm not saying everyone shouldn't follow the yoga pants resolution, just this one may be a bit more important).  Last year I spent a good portion of the year feeling run down and tired all the time.  I kept putting off going to the doctor and once I did it changed everything.  I ended up finding out I was quite anemic and deficient in Vitamin D, a few supplements and I am feeling so much better, I just wish I hadn't waited so long to go to the doctor.  I also should have an exercise routine, I am quite sporadic about it right now and I know if I put it into my schedule I would be sure to get it done.  And of course eating healthy is never a bad goal either.  

4.  Spend more time with my photography.  I have been a photographer since I was 10, okay maybe not a professional since then, but I have always loved taking pictures (remember 110 cameras).  I've been taking pictures professionally since 2005 and I love it.  Last year was a slow year for me, but I think a lot of that had to do with me being lazy (or tired because I put off going to the doctor).  This year I want to put more time and energy into taking more pictures of more people and anything else that tickles my fancy.

5.  This is one of my favorites, travel more!  I love to travel and try to do it as much as possible (more like as much as we can afford).  Last year we traveled to Florida, went on a cruise to Mexico, took a road trip to DC and Atlantic City, and did a few overnights in upstate New York, Boston, and New York City.  This year I hope to be able to do more.  Not only do I love to travel, but Steve and the kids do as well, so I am hoping our suitcases will be packed often!

6.  My last and probably one that everyone could follow is to HAVE MORE FUN!  I sometimes get stuck in the everyday of life, and I forget to have fun.  Often when I am laying in bed at night I am not thinking about how much fun I had that day, I am thinking about what bills have to be paid and where I have to drive the kids the next day.  I am not thinking about how I doubled over in laughter, I am thinking about how I doubled over in pain when I dropped the laundry basket on my toes.  I am not saying everyday will be a free for all fun extravaganza (although that sure does sound fun), I am saying that I will put more effort into planning things that are fun.  I will remember to relax and just be silly and laugh with the kids.  I will smile more and stress less.  I really hope out of all my resolutions this one I will achieve, because let's face it, having fun sounds fun.

So there you have it, my 2014 New Year's Resolutions!  Like everyone I am an imperfect human being and probably won't reach all of my goals, but I am going to try (I am already wearing yoga pants, so in my book I am ahead of the game)!  

More then a cat.

It has taken me a long time to write about the passing of our cat Miles, and that's because he was so loved it is heartbreaking to sometimes think of him not being in our lives.  When I met Steve he had never had a pet.  I on the other hand have always had pets and probably always will.  We visited his friend often who had a cat and Steve fell in love and we decided we should get our own.  We went to the pound and there were so many cats it was a bit overwhelming.  But Miles was meowing at us and we just knew the first time we held him he was our cat.  We named him Miles because Steve had a love of airline miles (still do).  He was with us for 12.5 years and basically died of old age.  He lived in our apartment and three houses with us.  He was never afraid of the kids and they could do anything to him.  He was always a bit... plump, but that just meant more of him to love.  He knew his name and always came running when you called him.  The last couple of years he became very close with Juliana, she even referred to him as her boyfriend.  He slept with her every single night (he actually would lay his head on her pillow and she would cuddle him).  Having to tell Juliana and Tyler that it was time to let him go was so hard.  Juliana was the last one to hug him and told him she would always remember him.  We still all get sad about him every now and then and I always say we were lucky to have him in our lives and we should just cherish the memories of him forever.  He may of just been a cat, but to all of us he was so very loved.

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