Two rules for marriage and hopefully 50 more years to use them.

I am not by any means saying I am a marriage expert.  I have learned a lot over the past almost 15 years of marriage, and if all goes well I am hoping to learn a lot more over the next 50.  Steve and I have always used two rules that have been quite helpful over the years.  I am sure everyone has their own ways of doing things and rules, but these have worked very well for us so far...


1.  The Diametrically Opposed Rule!  We started using this when we were dating and it seems to have worked well for us.  I think in a marriage it's important to let each other have their own lives, make their own mistakes, and basically do what they each want.  However, it's also important to compromise, to think of the other person before acting on something, and to sometimes make decisions together.  The only way we could think of to blend the ability to do what you want while also making compromises was to institute the diametrically opposed rule.  Basically if a spouse wants to do something and the other is absolutely 100% against it (diametrically opposed) then it cannot be done.  This has worked fabulous in our marriage and really it's only something we have used a handful of times.  If it was used all of the time it would never work out, it's saved for only the things that we feel so strongly about we wouldn't be able to sleep if it wasn't invoked.

2.  Rock, Paper, Scissors!  You know that game where you throw out a certain hand gesture (rock, paper, or scissors) and there is a winner.  We use it all the time when making decisions on who has to do what.  Most often it's used for things like, we are sitting comfortably watching a movie and the dog has to be let out, or a kid needs a glass of water.  It saves a lot of arguments and resentment.  We don't keep track of who does more in these situations, because the rock, paper, scissors game is in control.  Steve did try to cheat by studying the psychology of the game online, but it didn't help him one bit.

Christmas 2013... The good, the bad... and the early!

As I do every year, I promised myself I would get Christmas shopping done early (I bought my first two gifts in October, I was so proud of myself), unfortunately once again I failed.  Other then the first two gifts I bought in October, nothing else was purchased until after Thanksgiving, and even saying that is a stretch.  I really didn't plan ahead at all! I didn't know what I was buying anyone, how I was decorating, or what I was cooking for Christmas dinner.  I actually wasn't that far behind at first.  I had done some shopping, ordered some gifts online, and had gotten the Christmas tree up and then it happened, I GOT SICK!  It started as a cold and then it just kicked my butt.  I ended up with a horrible sinus infection and my asthma was flaring up, basically getting off the couch was a chore for the 1.5 weeks leading up to Christmas.  Thankfully I was able to pull up my big girl pants (aka Mom jeans) and with the help of my best friend Amazon, I was able to get "most" of my shopping done.  And also thanks to antibiotics I had a day or two where I could stand up in the morning without my head feeling like a bowling ball and was able to wrap my gifts (even though most of them lacked bows and looked like my dog had wrapped them while blindfolded), I got it done.  And finally thankfully my husband agreed to go to the store two days before Christmas and purchase everything I needed for the Christmas dinner I would be preparing for 15 people on Christmas day.  So even though I was sick and behind, and kicking myself for not getting everything done sooner (lesson learned), I am happy to say we all had a wonderful Christmas... even with my kids getting up at the ass crack of dawn!  Next year I will definitely going to start early (hahahaha).

The elusive New Year's Revolution....

It's that time a year again, the start of a new year, the time for everyone to sit down and think about what they want out of life for the new year.  I personally am not even sure I think making resolutions is a good idea, and every year I say the same two things, I am going to diet/exercise more and organize my house, and every year I am a little disappointed (although not surprised) I barely met my resolutions.  This year I thought I would mix things up and actually write them down (if it doesn't help I give up).

So without further ado, here are my 2014 New Year's Resolutions (can you handle the excitement)!

1.  I will blog more, this seems like a good place to start since I am writing this on my blog.  I have so many thoughts and ideas running through my head, it's time I started sharing more.

2.  I will wear yoga pants more.  Okay this may not be a true New Year's resolution, but it's F#@&ing freezing outside and I am wearing yoga pants right now and I am comfortable and happy!  I think for that reason alone yoga pants should be worn more often.

3.  To take better care of myself.  This is a big one and one that everyone should follow (I'm not saying everyone shouldn't follow the yoga pants resolution, just this one may be a bit more important).  Last year I spent a good portion of the year feeling run down and tired all the time.  I kept putting off going to the doctor and once I did it changed everything.  I ended up finding out I was quite anemic and deficient in Vitamin D, a few supplements and I am feeling so much better, I just wish I hadn't waited so long to go to the doctor.  I also should have an exercise routine, I am quite sporadic about it right now and I know if I put it into my schedule I would be sure to get it done.  And of course eating healthy is never a bad goal either.  

4.  Spend more time with my photography.  I have been a photographer since I was 10, okay maybe not a professional since then, but I have always loved taking pictures (remember 110 cameras).  I've been taking pictures professionally since 2005 and I love it.  Last year was a slow year for me, but I think a lot of that had to do with me being lazy (or tired because I put off going to the doctor).  This year I want to put more time and energy into taking more pictures of more people and anything else that tickles my fancy.

5.  This is one of my favorites, travel more!  I love to travel and try to do it as much as possible (more like as much as we can afford).  Last year we traveled to Florida, went on a cruise to Mexico, took a road trip to DC and Atlantic City, and did a few overnights in upstate New York, Boston, and New York City.  This year I hope to be able to do more.  Not only do I love to travel, but Steve and the kids do as well, so I am hoping our suitcases will be packed often!

6.  My last and probably one that everyone could follow is to HAVE MORE FUN!  I sometimes get stuck in the everyday of life, and I forget to have fun.  Often when I am laying in bed at night I am not thinking about how much fun I had that day, I am thinking about what bills have to be paid and where I have to drive the kids the next day.  I am not thinking about how I doubled over in laughter, I am thinking about how I doubled over in pain when I dropped the laundry basket on my toes.  I am not saying everyday will be a free for all fun extravaganza (although that sure does sound fun), I am saying that I will put more effort into planning things that are fun.  I will remember to relax and just be silly and laugh with the kids.  I will smile more and stress less.  I really hope out of all my resolutions this one I will achieve, because let's face it, having fun sounds fun.

So there you have it, my 2014 New Year's Resolutions!  Like everyone I am an imperfect human being and probably won't reach all of my goals, but I am going to try (I am already wearing yoga pants, so in my book I am ahead of the game)!